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Microsoft MVP

 

well...i'm nervous

 
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All Forums >> Web Design >> Site Critiques >> well...i'm nervous
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mrjoe

 

Posts: 79
From: None
Status: offline

 
well...i'm nervous - 8/28/2001 20:56:00   
Well, time for the truth. I know I have to create the Update Profile and Credit Card pages, but I guess now is as good as any to get feedback. If you would be so kind:

www.pastfriend.com

By the way, the template is one of Thomas Brunt's

godshall2

 

Posts: 370
From: Telford PA USA
Status: offline

 
RE: well...i'm nervous - 8/28/2001 22:15:00   
Hello,

The site looks great. Loads fast and is very clean. Conforms nicely to higher res also. Great Job!

Oh, one thing! What happens if Im not looking for someone in Jersey or NewYork? Will that be expanding?

Troy | www.aplustemplates.com


(in reply to mrjoe)
gorilla

 

Posts: 2974
From: Denmark
Status: offline

 
RE: well...i'm nervous - 8/29/2001 20:47:00   
Couldn't agree more with Troy's comments above - nice site.

You do however need to get someone to do a grammar check for you for example:

"We at pastfriend.com we value your thoughts and suggestions.  Please take advantage of the Wish List to make pastfriend.com the "friendliest" place on the web."

Should read:

"We at pastfriend.com value your thoughts ......"

Similarly:

"Get reunited with friends from your past.  It could be a friend from anywhere. From grammar school to college.  From an old neighborhood to a summer camp.  There is no limit....."

should read:

"Be reunited ....."


Q. How do I contact a friend?
A. Here is how is works.......

should read:

"A. Here is how it works ......"

There's a balance to be struck between language usage that's friendly and relaxed and language that's overformal and stiff mostly you've achieved that. I suggest however that you get someone else to proofread your content, it's horribly easy to miss such things yourself simply because you are so close to it.

You've got such a such a good site that it's a shame to have it spoilt by content errors such as the examples above.

------------------
Kind regards,

Gorilla
aka Mark Saunders
Email Address: marksaunders@techie.com
=======
Error 1023! Bad or missing mouse - spank the cat?


(in reply to mrjoe)
mrjoe

 

Posts: 79
From: None
Status: offline

 
RE: well...i'm nervous - 8/29/2001 20:17:00   
Thanks for the input so far. You are so right about the grammar. I can't tell you how many times I saw those pages and was blind to the grammar. Shame on me, that will be fixed today.

Hi Troy,
The list of states is relative to the members in the database. As more people sign up from different states, the list will grow. The same thing with the Locations drop-down list.

So, please feel free to join.

Thanks,
Joe C.


(in reply to mrjoe)
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