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kevin3442 -> RE: new website, by a real newbie, please any suggestions (5/11/2005 0:46:23)
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Hi Sharon,
Mmmmmmm... caaaake.
Welcome to Outfront. And thanks for the virtual cake! I think you've done a nice job overall, especially for a self-proclaimed newb.
A question for you: Do you work alone, or do you have employees that help create your wonderful cakes? I ask only because I'm struck (although mildly) by what seems to me to be an inconsistent feel.
Take your "About Us" page for example. "Us" implies a plurality of people working on the cakes, but the page itself insists that "Sharon" will do this and "Sharon" will do that. (Similarlly with "Contact Us" on the home page, which is only "Contact" on other pages... and the email contact is to you.). I'm stuck by a similar feeling when reading the "About Us" page. There's a picture of one person... you I assume. I don't see an "Us". I'm not even sure I want to see an "Us". I like the idea that I can know the one person who will will make my special cake. And the text on the page... It's all in third person. For example, "Sharon will work closely with you to design a cake that is unique to your occasion." That seems a little clinical to me. I'm going to assume that occasions requiring such a cake are likely to be very personal. And working closely with the customer is also very personal. I think that writing in the first person would emphasize the personal nature of the business and the occasion. "I will work closely with you to design a cake that fits your occasion just right; a cake that will add to the fond memories you'll have of your special day for years to come." (OK... getting carried away here [;)]). If you wrote that text, then let it come form you! And how about "About Me" and "Contact Me"? You might start the "About" stuff off with a little bit about you. "Hi. I'm Sharon. I own and operate Sharon's Cake Art (formerly, Sharon's Creative Cakes). I've been making custom cakes for ___ years. I love it! And I'd love to make one just for you. ..."
Also (now I'm sounding pedantic), I think there are too many "specials" in the following: "Sharon's Cake Art, formerly known as Sharon's Creative Cakes, specializes in custom designed cakes for every special occasion, especially when it has to be extraordinary." Along with that, I don't know if you can really "specialize" in something for "every" occasion. How 'bout, "I specialize in custom-designed cakes for custom-designed occasions; ocassions that require nothing less than an extraordinary cake!"
I'd also scratch the "hobby" part. Don't want people thinking that this is still a hobby for you. They want someone who can focus professional energy, talent, and skill on their cake!
Ohhhh... what the heck. I hope you don't think this is too forward, but....
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Hi. I'm Sharon. I started making custom cakes in _____, and have owned and operated Sharon's Cake Art (formerly, Sharon's Creative Cakes) since 1995. I love making cakes! And I'd love to make one just for you. I specialize in custom-designed cakes for custom-designed occasions. Ocassions that require nothing less than an extraordinary cake. Occasions like yours! I take pride in each and every cake I make. The same kind of pride you'll feel to have such a splendid cake for your special day. I will work closely with you to design a cake that fits your needs and desires just right; a cake that will add to the fond memories you'll have for years to come of that single, wonderful event.
My specialties include fondant-covered cakes, sugar or gumpaste flowers, bows and figurines, fun, blown sugar bubbles, and pastillage castles. No store-bought, pre-fab stick-ons for you. Your cake deserves better! I hand craft each flower and figurine that will be featured on your cake with meticulous care. Your cake will be a cake like no other!
In addition to making cakes professionally, I'm also an Educator, with two Masters Degrees in Education. I have demonstrated and taught custom cake design and decorating in many different places, through the United States, Puerto Rico, Spain, and Canada. I have been an invited demonstrator at ICES Conventions [DOES ICES HAVE A WEBSITE YOU COULD LINK TO?], as well as a judge for custom cake competitions. My cakes have been featured in several cake magazines [, INCLUDING?...]. If you want me to make a special cake just for you, or you would like me to demonstrate or teach any of my specialties at a group function, please don't hesitate to contact me [MAKE THAT A LINK TO THE CONTACT PAGE].
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Feel free to use any or none of that. I hope some of it helps.
Please excuse me now while I go hunt down some CAKE!!!
Cheers,
Kevin
EDIT: I just went back to your site (couldn't help it!). I was looking at all the pictures and noticed that whatever you use for the picture gallery control appears to be squishing the cakes! It looks to me like the width of the large version is resized to fit a prescribed area. I don't think that does justice to your wonderful designs. Can you change that, so that the pictures' original dimensions are used? This thread has a link to a pretty cool (I think) picture gallery control... an it's free.
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